I'm so Lousy

NOW, then I know how to add links of other blogs that I read to my blog. Goodness. I'm ashamed to say that I have been figuring that out for months!

Thoughts at 30.

There's an insurance friend that quit and decided to do go study about child development. She went into insurance immediately after graduating from Uni. And that's a long 7 years before she did a switch. She's 30 this year.

There'a a friend who was last in a telco company. Was there for maybe 2 or 3 years. Decided to go study accounting. She's 30 this year.

There's another who was in a chain of Stat Boards. Decided to go overseas and study full time for a year. She's 30 this year.

Another was in a telco. She's not exactly unhappy but maybe planning a career change in the area of her current study - Child development. She's 30 when she did it.

I tend to think that 30 years old is the time that many decided to adopt changes especially major career change if they have been unhappy or not deriving job satisfaction in the first place. Turning 30 is a big thing, psychologically, especially for a woman. It's freaking 3 decades of life and that's a long time. It could possibly even be the half mark of a lifetime. The lucky ones who are comfortable and contended probably just breeze through it and didn't think too much about it. Those who felt they have come a long way wants to celebrate it. Those who are not too happy with things so far wants to change it. Those we are clueless remains clueless.

A friend asked: So what about me? What will be changing as I turn 30?

Only 2 things. But I think they are pretty major too.

In terms of work, I'm going to take more risk.
In terms of friendship, I'm going to stop going out with people that I don't enjoy going out with, without guilt.

There are some outings that I really don't enjoy these days anymore. Those that are extremely tiresome are when conversations that are shared are so superficial. All we seem to be able to ask is how's work? How's business? How are things? It's unlike before where friends reawlly dig deep and also confided in each other about all sort of problems. Perhaps it's harder to confide too, especially about relationship or marriage issues because the other half is mostly there.

Then for a period of time, friends around me are just talking non stop about wedding, house, kids and it totally bored me. The same old question get asked again and again.

Wedding questions: Who are you booking your wedding package with? How much? Inclusive of photography? Who's the photographer? Where are you doing your outdoor shoot? Going honeymoon?

House questions: How many sq ft is your place? How much you paid for it? Inclusive of furniture? Which interior designer did you use?

Kids questions: How heavy is the baby? How long was the delivery? Which hospital? Intend to breastfeeed? Have help to take care?

Well some people ask because they are seeking advise for their own wedding, house, impending delivery and that's understandable but you feel really neglected when you are not having a wedding or house or delivery (in my case all 3) and you really have heard enough already from so many other people. The 2 questions that I can't understand why people would ask again and again is how many sq ft the friend's house is and how the weight of the baby at birth. Why really do one need to know that? Can somebody explain to me? What useful purposes are there to know that? Do people really go buy 4D for that? I'm just glad to say that at this point in time now, most of the wedding and house questions are over.

Then there are those outings where you can actually run out of things to say even in a big group!It can be so awkward sometimes. I tend to think this happens when people don't care enough about each other to ask questions. I'm not a saint. I'm guilty of that too.

The truth is, there are indeed some friends that I don't care enough to ask how they really are. The feeling might be mutual so why continue to go out and go through motion?

Going out with friends is suppose to be relaxing when you get to ventilate your problems, invigorating when you have a good exchange of ideas, enjoyable when there are laughter, make you strong when you are weak, make you happy when you are sad, cheer you on when you are doing well, pick you up when you fall, tell you when you have been bad. But as time goes by, relationships seem to get more superficial and become further and further away from my definition. Did I define it wrongly? Are my expectations too high? Is that not important anymore?

It's not just me it seems. I notice that some friends have also stopped making an effort to go out. In fact, some stopped years quite a number of years ago. I'm beginning to think I might understand why.

These days, I find myself happier in front of the tv. I hear more thought provoking things, comedies make me laugh, dramas show me reality and problems and solutions, sad shows / touching scenes make me cry and help me get in touch with my emotions, news and discovery channels give me an insight into many things outside my area of knowledge and industry, reality shows give me a good rush, self help shows like Oprah helps you deal with problems and encourages you.

I can only speculate that the reason why there are lesser and lesser friends that I enjoy going out with is because the things that I am looking for in a friendship and the things I prefer to talk about is different from many of my friends. After all, how many people are in the risky business of business and how many can understand what and why I want to pursue them at the expense of wedding/house/kids. And with so many superficialities, fake fronts, fake smiles in the business world that I have to face and give, I'm don't wish to have to go through the same thing with friends.

To say no to going out with people that I don't enjoy going out with anymore, to me, is a major decision that I'm taking at 30. I have always like to have friends and a lot of them. But now, I think I will still be just as grateful if I have lesser friends as long as they are people that I care and will want to be there for them when they need me, as much they care and will be there for me when I need them.

Do you feel the same way? Or is it just me? And does the problem lie with me? But there are people who do change too.

Any advise any insights people? And how did you celebrate your 30th birthday? Come, share share.

IDA cannot make it

My email to them. Through IDA Website Feedback (Query Form Feedback Form)

Hi, I want to report a Singapore company for sending unsolicited emails to me and see that IDA take action to stop them from doing so. They have marked "ADV" in their subject headers and have an unsubscribed function. However, even after I have unsubscribed twice and called them up once to ask them to remove my emaill address from their database, I still continue to receive frequent emails from them. Please kindly let me know how I can go about lodging a report against this company. Thanks.

Their reply to me.

> Hi My name,

> Under the Spam Control Act, which takes effect from 15th June 2007,
> the civil-based regime will provide civil recourse for recipient of
> non-compliant spam. Recipient of non-compliant spam could sue the
> sender for injunction, damages and statutory damages. However, there
> are no specific authorities which would take enforcement actions
> against spammers. For spam that is malicious by nature, e.g.
> phishing or spam with computer virus, a police report could be made.
>
> Other than legal recourse, we would like to advise recipients of
> spam to configure their filters so that unwanted emails could be
> filtered off instantly. This is especially effective when you could
> identify the sender, and configure the filter that removes all
> emails sent from that particular email address. You may wish to
> check the filters provided by the email service providers. For
> emails service providers like Yahoo! or Gmail, the email filters are
> provided free of charge.
>
Best Regards,
Her Name
IDA Corporate Helpdesk
8 Temasek Boulevard, #14-00, Suntec Tower Three, Singapore 038988 :: Tel: (65) 6211 0888 :: Fax: (65) 6211 2222
The Infocomm Development Authority of Singapore (IDA) is committed to growing Singapore into a dynamic global infocomm hub. IDA uses an integrated approach to developing info-communications in Singapore. This involves nurturing a competitive telecoms market as well as a conducive business environment with programmes and schemes for both local and international companies. Visit IDA's website at www.ida.gov.sg. For enquiries, email to info@ida.gov.sg.
NOTICE: This e-mail (including any attachments) may contain confidential or legally privileged information. Any unauthorised use, retention, reproduction or disclosure is prohibited and may attract civil and criminal penalties. If this e-mail has been sent to you in error, please delete it and notify us immediately.


No kidding I tell you. What a stupid act! So I can only report police if spam is malicious by nature? But what about those that are irrtating by nature? They expect me to sue and help the lawyers and courts get richer?

Plus if we are all suppose to protect ourselves by putting in filters, then why set up the act and make people put in their subject header and why make it mandatory that companies include an unsubscribed function that works? Why lidat?

Here's the act. From IDA's website.

The Spam Control Act Comes Into Effect
Singapore, 8 June 2007 | For Immediate Release

The Spam Control Act 2007 will come into effect on 15 June 2007. It aims to address the still-growing and global problem of spam.

The Act will offer a framework to better manage unsolicited commercial electronic messages sent in bulk, otherwise known as "spam". Spam is estimated to make up the bulk of all e-mails sent worldwide.

The legal guidelines are reasonably easy for marketers to follow and for consumers to understand. It will not offer complete respite from spam, but consumers will get a measure of protection from spam.

Under the Act, marketers - particularly those based in Singapore or who have operations here - who continue to spam the "not interested" group face potential financial penalties. The statutory penalty is $25 for each electronic message, up to a total of $1 million.

Globally, similar laws have been introduced for instance in the United States of America, Japan, South Korea and Australia.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

3 pertinent points from the FAQ section about Spam from Singapore Spam Control Resource Centre. http://www.spamcontrol.org.sg/consumers.html

4. What would be considered appropriate electronic marketing?

Appropriate marketing requires marketers to target their messages and to provide recipients with genuine contact information and a genuine opportunity to have their names removed from future mailings.

The Direct Marketing Association of Singapore has a set of rules to guide marketers on using the e-mail marketing channel responsibly.

6. Is sending spam illegal in Singapore?

Many of the activities associated with the more serious forms of spamming are already illegal in Singapore. For example, it is a criminal offence to engage in e-mail fraud or to obstruct the use of a computer through spamming. Sending spam that contains false or misleading advertising or product claims, or that contains pornography, is also unlawful.

On the other hand, spamming per se is legal provided it complies with the Spam Control legal framework. The law seeks to balance the legitimate interests of businesses that want to advertise through e-mails and mobile messaging, and the interest of recipients who do not want to be swamped daily by spam. It will deter local spammers and clarify the rules for local marketers. It will also give affected persons, for example the Internet Service Providers who are the main victims of e-mail spam, a right of legal recourse against spammers.

(Conclusion: Being a nuisance and sending out unsolicited emails is not illegal)

11. What recourse do I have against non-compliant spammers?

If you suffered loss or damages as a result of the transmission of non-compliant spam, you could also seek legal recourse against the spammer. This takes the form of a civil action against the spammer in court.

If successful, the court could grant injunction, damages, and statutory damages. Statutory damages that could be awarded would be up to S$25 per non-compliant spam, up to a maximum of S$1million. If you wish to claim damages beyond S$1million, you could opt for a grant of actual damages instead. In addition, the court can order the spammer to pay for the costs and expenses of the legal proceedings.

(One spam email every 2 days from one company doesn't amount to much loss or damage but if more companies abuse this, than it will certainly add up to MUCH time loss and irritation. And do they expect me to sue 10 companies at one time?)

AND the reply email has all the ">" there as you see it even though it is a "Fresh" reply. Cannot make it.

Really. Why all the Wayang in having the act and all and not have the commitment to police it?